


When Words Fail

by eliaatan



Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-20 18:36:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17627513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eliaatan/pseuds/eliaatan
Summary: "Ain't easy for me to find the words. I mean, it is, I find them. But I know they're not always the right ones."She read that same line over and over again almost as if she would find some kind of deeper meaning between the lines. But that's the thing - he never had the right words. Neither did she.





	1. The Aftermath

If she could change one thing, it would be sharpening that knife.

Everyone told her that there wasn't anything that she could do, but that didn't make the pain any less valid. He was gone.

Gone for good.

Arrow tried to cheer his Guardian up, but he found no luck. Instead, he gently bumped her forehead. The girl waved her hand and pushed him away. It was obvious that she didn't want to be bothered, so quietly floated over to a nearby bookshelf.

On it, he found several items and none of them too extravagant, but all held great importance to his partner. Some books, an old drawing, old letters. There was even an old journal that she had promised to burn but couldn't now. It was all she had left of him. It gave her a glimpse into his past and an idea of the man he was - of who he should've been had Bray not intervened.

Then there was the photo.

It was torn and frayed at the edges, but the four smiling faces of the small Golden Age family could still be made out. There was a man and woman - a husband and wife - and their two young children who were both laughing and doing silly poses for the camera. The woman just smiled and had her hand on her son's shoulder.

The man however wasn't doing a silly pose or looking politely into the camera. No….he was looking lovingly at his wife and he had a protective hand on his daughter's shoulder.

That was her life at one point in time...a time that she couldn't remember. The Collapse had ruined all of their lives. Sometimes she wished that she was never -

"You know, this year will be the five year anniversary since I resurrected you as a Guardian." Arrow said quietly, interrupting her thoughts.

"Yeah. I know" She mumbled.

Five years.

Had it really been five years since she woke up in the Russian Cosmodrome? No memory of who she was before except a name and a floating creature who called himself her Ghost. Not to mention all of the freaky aliens roaming around and her odd instinct to take apart and put a sniper rifle back together.

Yeah...she has come a long way since then.

"I still remember waking up and slapping you out of the air." She said and chuckled, then looked at her friend. Arrow's optics lit a bright blue and his body expanded and retracted, which indicated an annoyed sigh.

"Oh do you? Well I will tell you that it was NOT pleasant and I still hold a grudge against you for that after all these years."

"Really? Wow, that's a little petty don't you think? How was I supposed to react to a floating object in my face after waking up for a 200 year old...nap?"

"I...well, I do see your point there. My apologies."

"Thank you."

A small smile crossed the girl's lips and her friend noticed.

"It's nice to see you smile again." He began. "I know it's been hard lately, but you have some good friends around you if you need to vent."

"Yeah. You're right. I just…"

 

Suddenly, she remembered that night in flashes.

A gunshot. Then she was running. Now he was on the ground. When she looked up, he had a smirk on her face...and Ace. She yelled. Her knife flew from her hands.

He got away.

"How's...how's my hair…?"

He always had such stupid jokes. How could he joke right now? Then he coughed.

"Don't leave me...please don't leave me!"

She should have been there. She should have protected him.

"...the best bet...I ever...made…."

Now he was gone. She should have sharpened her knife. 

 

Arrow bumped her shoulder. She shook her head and looked at Arrow, then turned her attention to the family photo on her bookshelf. Tears filled the brim of her eyes.

"I just miss them."


	2. Resolve

It was beginning to feel like her grief would never end.

Months have passed since Cayde's murder, and while his murderer had been killed that fateful day in the Awoken Watchtower, it still didn't feel like she had avenged him. Uldren may have been gone, but there was still one thing that was the same.

Cayde was dead.

Her fireteam tried to help her let go and move on, but nothing seemed to work. It was hard for her to get out of bed - much less get out of her apartment in the City. If she needed something, she would ask her friend Runa to get it and bring it to her. One day, during a phone call, Runa finally said no.

"What? Why not?"

"This isn't healthy, Andie. You need to get out of the house and live for once."

"I can't. Not since my da- I mean Cayde died."

An annoyed and tired sighed was heard on the other end.

"Don't you dare try and use the grief excuse anymore...it's time to move on."

"Don't you people get it...I CAN'T!"

Andie hadn't meant to yell, but she did. There was no response from her best friend.

"Runa...? Are you still there?"

It was silent for a moment before she spoke again.

"I've tried to help you. Lucas and Oliver have tried to help you. Hell, we ALL have tried to help you move on from Cayde's death. But I'm starting to think you can't be helped. Not without a professional anyway. Don't bother asking me for anything else. If you want something, you can leave your place and get it yourself."

She heard a click from the other end and she knew that Runa had hung up on her. For a moment, she sat there with the phone still on her ear but didn't move. She didn't move much at all these days.

"I wish it were that easy."

After setting her phone down, she curled up and cried for a few hours on her bed.

 

Since the Red War, the Tower slowly began to return to normalcy. Well, as normal as it could get without their Hunter Vanguard.

But today, everyone's favorite sport was finally returning: the Sparrow Racing League. With the return of the SRL, that also meant the return of its champion, Marcus Ren.

She didn't know why, but she was always...intrigued by him. Like all other racers, he was a Guardian; a Hunter to be in fact. They had gone on a few scouting missions together but at first, they couldn't stand each other. She had thought he was too cocky and arrogant because of his SRL champion status while he thought she was too uptight and took her job too seriously.

In many ways, Marcus reminded her of Cayde. And oddly enough having that thought comforted her.

"Marcus, how do you expect today's races to go? Do you believe you'll defend your title and continue to be the people's champion?"

"Well Katie, I don't like to brag but...yes. I absolutely plan on winning this race today."

"Even after that embarrassing loss to Bast before the SRL went on a hiatus?"

At that moment, Marcus froze and tensed up. It was true that he had lost once to his friend and fireteam teammate Enoch Bast, who was a Titan. It was also something that someone with his ego didn't enjoy talking about much less reminiscing on.

"I think we are done here. I have someone I need to go see anyway."

With that, he walked away and left the poor interviewer stunned and on her own. She attempted to keep the broadcast going smoothly, but Andie shutoff her TV before she could see the rest of that trainwreck.

 

About 15 minutes later, there was a knock on her door.

Part of her had hoped that it was Runa so she could apologize, but when she opened the door, she was in for a huge surprise. On the other side, it was a tall blonde male with light skin. His hair was ruffled and his red leather racing jacket was zipped up halfway.

"Hey Andie," said Marcus. "May I come in?"


	3. Saturday Mourning

An awkward silence filled the air as the two stood there and stared at each other. Was it real? Was THE Marcus Ren, a City celebrity and hero, actually standing at her doorstep asking to come inside? 

She thought he hated her.

“I...s-sure.” 

She opened the door wider so he could enter. When he did, he looked around and let out an impressed whistle. Her apartment was small, but she made sure to keep it clean and organized in case any unexpected guests like Ren showed up.

“Nice place you have here. Definitely better than those closets they called dorms during our Academy days, huh?”  


Andie nodded her head. His back was to her, so he didn’t see it. She was still in shock that she didn’t think about giving a verbal response. 

“Why are you here? Don’t you have another race to prepare for?” She said bitterly. It wasn’t intentional, but the last thing she needed was media attention on her as Ren’s secret...friend.

“Damn McGrath, no need to be so nasty.” Marcus started. “I just wanted to see how you were doing. It's almost been five months since Cayde-”

“Since Cayde died? Yeah, I know. Thanks for the reminder.” She hissed. He was really beginning to overstay his welcome.

Marcus sighed and ran a hand through his messy blonde hair. One thing she never understood was how he kept it looking so nice even after spending hours under a helmet during a race or on patrols.

“Look...I know you haven’t always been my biggest fan. I was an asshole to you at the Academy and wouldn’t admit when someone did better than me. Hell, I still don’t like admitting defeat to Enoch but lucky me gets that thrown in my face every week after races.” 

Andie just sighed and rolled her eyes. If he was trying to make some kind of point, he was miserably failing. Even if it started off about her, it somehow always came back to him.

“Is there a point Ren? If I wanted to relive your very embarrassing loss to your own teammate, I can assure you that I can find plenty of videos online of him kicking your ass.” 

An annoyed huff came off his lips as he made eye contact with her. He had an even more annoyed look on his face. She just smirked.

“Look McGrath, if you’re just going to insult me, then fine. I get the message and I’ll leave. I just came here to check on you because I was wor-”

There was a sudden pause in his sentence. A tomato red blush covered his entire face and he quickly looked away. After that, he grabbed his helmet and made a fast getaway to the door.

“Hey, where are you going? Get back here Ren!” Andie yelled then ran after him. When she made it to the door, he was already gone. A sigh escaped her lips and she shut the door. What had gotten into him?

 

Marcus was relieved to finally be home.

When he entered his apartment, he locked the door behind him and threw himself on the couch. It had been a long day not just for him, but for his eccentric Ghost, Didi. After he made himself comfortable, she appeared and bumped his forehead quite aggressively.

“Ow! What was that for?” He groaned and rubbed his now reddened forehead. Sometimes he wished she would just stay hidden in his gear. Especially when she was angry like this.

“Why did you run off like that?” Didi asked, expanding and retracting her shell as a way to show her annoyance with her Guardian.

“What? Do you mean at McGrath’s? Didn’t you hear how she was insulting me? I wasn’t about to take any more of that abuse. I get enough of that from the reporters.” He said and groaned from the pain in his head. It was starting to subside now.

“That’s not the point. You were about to tell her you were worried about her, weren’t you? I don’t understand why you don’t want to let her know how much you care about her-”

“That’s enough Didi! Stay out of this, would you?!” 

Another moment of awkward silence filled the air between the two of them. Didi stared at her Guardian for a moment before bobbing up and down as if she were sighing.

“It’s okay to be worried about her, you know. She just lost Cayde. He was basically a father to her and her sister their entire Guardian lives. Nobody expects her to be as okay as she pretends to be. Her sister sure isn't hiding it.” 

It was true. Jade McGrath was an emotional mess. Both she and her twin sister had witnessed their Vanguard leader and father figure die right in front of them that fateful night in the Prison of Elders. All while the former Awoken Prince Uldren Sov smirked and waved Cayde’s prized hand cannon, the Ace of Spades, around in his hands. Jade was never the same after that night. Andie wasn’t either, but she hid her grief much better than her sister had. She still did.

The Tower and its Guardians held a memorial a few weeks after it had happened, and later another memorial for just the Hunters to attend to mourn their fallen Vanguard. Since they were the ones who were closest to him, Andie and her sister stood front and center next to Cayde’s casket as one Hunter after another came up to each of them and gave their condolences. There were lots of tears and crying, as well as silence in various parts of the room.

The day after the Hunter only memorial, it was decided that Cayde would be buried behind an old cabin outside of the Farm on Earth. It was one of his favorite places to go after Ghaul had taken control during the Red War, and it had a beautiful view of the night sky. Andie remembered the nights where both of them would go and sit on the docks, and stare at the night sky. 

The lake behind the cabin would shine in the moonlight, and they would have heart-to-heart talks and deep conversations about life and mortality since they had lost their Light. There was also another gravestone of a woman - someone else who had meant the world to Cayde in a previous life.

Not only that, but the burial spot was nowhere near a war zone. No Fallen or Cabal enemies to come and ruin his gravesite. A place of peace where those close to him could come and remember their short time together. 

A place where his adoptive daughters could come and remember both of their parents.

Marcus just hoped that one day maybe Andie would let him in. Because the Traveller knew that she needed someone to lean and depend on now. They all did.

**Author's Note:**

> hello! thank you so much for taking a look at my newest story. Destiny is one of my favorite video game franchises, and i have always loved the lore in this game as well as the characters. if you could please leave me a review and let me know how i am doing, that would be greatly appreciated! hope you have a wonderful day/night and i will update again soon :)


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